Rant: 5 Things Not To Say To A Pregnant Woman

This shall be my first official rant on this blog…probably aimed at a ton of innocent, well-meaning people.    I don’t really understand why pregnancy is one of those times in life where all the unsolicited advice and borderline social-misfit comments come out, but it is, and there are a few things that should be considered before they come out of people’s mouths.   (Note:   ALL of these are comments I’ve received so far)!

1.   “You’re REALLY starting to look pregnant now.”   Am I?    I’m so glad you’ve noticed in my 9th month that I’m visibly pregnant, and I’m so happy you told me!   Seriously people.   I wake up every morning.   And I look in the mirror.   And I’m well aware of my expanding girth…this is what happens to the body when you’re manufacturing a human.   And I’m doing my best to embrace my new round shape…afterall, I’ve heard it’s all worth it.   But comments that state the obvious are not only annoying, but they serve absolutely no purpose and are therefore better left unsaid.

2.  (As a response during a time where a pregnant woman is exhausted.   Or has an aching back, or is just generally not feeling like running a marathon):  “Really?   I never, ever felt that way.   I LOVED being pregnant.   Every minute of it was wonderful.”   OK.   So I’m really happy for you that everything went perfectly, and that you had such an awesome experience.   Really I am.  (No, that’s not even sarcasm–some women are that lucky, and I envy them).   But remember, that everybody feels differently during pregnancy, and the relevance of your comment does not make me feel good at all.    It feels a little judgy at times where I’m not feeling hot, and kind of like one-upmanship.   Not cool.

3.  “WOW!   I can’t believe how FAST you got this big!”   OK.   Do I even need to explain this one?  Is it not obvious just by repeating this comment out loud that it’s completely unnecessary and hits every last nerve?   I put this in the “not sure what purpose this comment serves” category.

4.  “I don’t understand?   Why don’t you want to go to (insert social event that will include a plethora of alcohol and generally rowdy people).   You can still come if you’re pregnant.”   OK, so here’s where I might accept this comment a little better coming from someone who’s been pregnant before.   If their tolerance for drunk, rowdy people, while being the size of a house, at a time when exhaustion is at it’s peak, was enough to get any of them out to a crazy social event, my hat goes off to them.   Really, it does.   But so far, the only comments I’ve received like this are from:  1.  Men, or 2.  Women who don’t have kids.    Enough said.

5.  “I can tell you’re carrying a (boy/girl) because of (x, y) shape of your body.”   Really?   Can you?   Because 50% of these comments have been totally wrong….and again, this type of comment takes you from a well-meaning bystander to looking like a bit of a self-righteous expert that’s looking a little too closely at my body.

With one month left to go, I do have to say–that most of this journey has been positive and enjoyable, and from what I hear, the tough times will be totally worth it.   I’m truly excited at what this parenthood thing will be all about.  However, this rant has been a long time coming…feel free to add your ranting comments if you’ve ever experienced something similar!

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